Medical billing and epidemiology relies on a classification of diseases maintained by the World Health Organization. On the first of October, 2015, we will transition from ICD-9 to ICD-10, a major change that increases the number of available diagnoses from some 17,000 codes up to more than 155,000. In a strange cosmic twist, that’s the same day that most retails need to install readers for credit cards with chips or be liable for bad purchases.
With that in mind, I present a short story in ICD-9, with a translation into English.
It was E900.0. That, combined with E904.1 and E904.2, not to mention V69.4, is what led to 780.2. I admit it, I have V69.0 and V69.1. I usually sleep well, but that night was different, thanks to 780.55 due to 780.92. That morning I understandably drank 969.7, leading to 785.1. During E924.2 while E013.0 I felt 780.4. Stepping out I had 368.45 before I 780.2.When I was V49.89 after my E884.9. I had a 784.0, as if I had a 305.00. I used my E011.1 to call work to say I’d be late and hoped to avoid V62.1. He greeted me with a 784.42 indicating 300.4.
Last year I V49.89. The flights are arduous, subjected to E918 or being in V01.9 with a 780.92 E979.6 at E902.0. After landing I’m 780.79 due to V69.4 and 780.55, leading to excessive 786.09.
I was in 309.29. At least, thank to the ubiquity of E849.6, I didn’t have to suffer from 292.0.
If you think this makes for 315.00 and is a 729.1 to read, just wait for ICD 10! Ever see a V91.07XA?!
It was too hot. That, combined with lack of food and water, not to mention lack of sleep, is what led to my fainting. I admit it, I don’t exercise or eat right. I usually sleep well, but that night was different, thanks to interrupted sleep from my son’s crying all night. That morning I understandably drank one too many cups of coffee, leading my heart to skip a beat. During a hot shower I felt lightheaded. Stepping out my vision narrowed before I passed out. I awakened after my fall to the floor. I had a headache, as if I had a hangover. I grabbed my cellphone to call my work to say I’d be late and hoped I wouldn’t be in trouble with the boss. He greeted me with an edge to his voice, indicating he was wasn’t completely happy.
Last year I traveled to foreign countries. The flights are arduous, subjected to being squeezed in with other passengers, or being next to a crying, germy child at altitude. After landing I’m worn out due to lack of sleep and jet lag, leading to excessive yawning.
I was in culture shock. At least, thank to the ubiquity of vendors, I didn’t have to suffer from caffeine withdrawal.
If you think reading this is difficult and is a pain in the butt to read, just wait for ICD 10. Ever see a burn due to water-skis on fire?!
One thought on “An ICD-9 Story”
If those numbers are accurate you should try to get that published.
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